Przez 80 dni, po zakładzie z Geordie`em Torrem, redaktorem naczelnym magazynu „Geographical”, desperacko poszukiwałem 80 języków, którymi mówi się w Londynie i osób nimi władających. Oto one:

1. Amharski

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Haile, pracownik biurowy, który wypisuje kartki świąteczne etiopskim alfabetem

2. Kantoński

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 Jeannie, słodka i niewinna Chinka, której korzenie wywodzą się z Hongkongu

3. Gudżaracki

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 Manoj, biurowy elegant, którego rodzice przyjechali z Indii

4. Rumuński

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 Roxana, absolwentka City University, wielbicielka Jane Austen

5. Turecki

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 Sef, marketingowiec przed trzydziestką zakochany w Ukraince

6. Grecki

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 Xenia, rudowłosa dziewczyna, która cieszy się, że ktoś interesuje się jej językiem

7. Hebrajski

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 Elite, Izraelitka, która śpiewa pisze teksty piosenek po angielsku

8. Włoski

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 Luisa, pracownica agencji reklamowej, która strzyże się tylko u włoskich fryzjerów

9. Francuski

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Yves, Kanadyjczyk z Quebecu, dziennikarz, fotograf i wielbiciel tatuaży

10. Serbski

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 Milun, zagłębiony w księgach parafialnych duchowny

11. Bośniacki

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 Amina, czarnowłosa recepcjonistka z małej miejscowości pod Sarajewem

12. Chorwacki

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 Zdravko, strażnik ambasady i wielbiciel muzyki rockowej

13. Albański

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 Alketa, urzędniczka, która wywabia swoich współpracowników z kłopotów

14. Macedoński

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 Katerina, pracuje w ambasadzie i słucha brytyjskiego popu

15. Słoweński

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 Matej, znudzony fan zespołu Laibach

16. Arabski

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 Samy, sprzedawca gazet i wielbiciel egipskich seriali

17. Tigrinia

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 Araya, sympatyczny starszy pan z Erytrei, który chodzi z wnuczką na koncerty

18. Szona

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 Funga, demonstrant z Zimbabwe, który nie jest fanem prezydenta tego kraju

19. Igbo

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 Michael, twórca stron internetowych pochodzący z Lagos w Nigerii

20. Tswana

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 Refiloe, recepcjonistka z Republiki Południowej Afryki

21. Zulu

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 Jabulani z plemienia Zulusów, który mówiąc językiem mlaskowym nie mlaszcze

22. Mokpe

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 Mbame, starszy Kameruńczyk, który zapisał dla mnie swoją mowę na kartce

23. Wolof

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 Mamadu, senegalski pracownik Centrum Afrykańskiego

24. Suahili

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 Joseph, poliglota, mówiący także po angielsku, francusku i w lingala

25. Afrykanerski

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 Arjen, żonaty z Polką twórca stron internetowych

26. Holenderski

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 także Arjen, który wychował się w RPA używając obydwu języków

27. Hindi

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 pani Renu, która przyjechała do Londynu w latach sześćdziesiątych

28. Urdu

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 Hassan, któremu marzy się kariera aktorska w filmach bollywoodzkich

29. Kaszmirski

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 Yousaf, rzeźnik, który zainspirował mnie do napisania scenariusza

30. Słowacki

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 Peter, strażnik w ambasadzie, sam wolał się nagrać niż wpuścić mnie do środka

31. Czeski

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 Petra, pracownica centrum promującego czeską kulturę w Londynie

32. Ukraiński

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 Aleks, student czekający w kolejce do okienka w konsulacie

33. Białoruski

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 Alena, urzędniczka, która sprzeciwiła się swojemu szefowi by mi pomóc

34. Kataloński

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 Isnoria, sympatyczna nauczycielka spotkana na targach językowych

35. Galicyjski

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 Ernesto, nauczyciel, który uwielbia polską wódkę i zna kilka przekleństw

36. Japoński

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 Soichi, podejrzliwy sprzedawca podręczników do nauki języka

37. Węgierski

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 Sara, uczestniczka targów językowych z Budapesztu

38. Niemiecki

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 Kristina, w Londynie prowadzi kursy tego języka od trzech lat

39. Rosyjski

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 Eugenia, pragnąca zainteresować swoją mową i kulturą Brytyjczyków

40. Litewski

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 Elvira, przyjechała do Anglii, by namawiać do studiowania w Wilnie

41. Baskijski

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 nauczycielka z Kraju Basków, której imienia niestety nie zanotowałem

42. Esperanto

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 Helen, brytyjska wielbicielka dzieła Ludwika Zamenhofa

43. Ormiański

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 Misak, dumny ze swej ojczyzny dyrektor Centre for Armenian Information

44. Kurdyjski

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 Mustafa, socjolog, który organizuje pomoc prawną dla Kurdów

45. Perski

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 Kaveh, koordynujący projekty edukacyjne dla Irańczyków

46. Gruziński

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 Lali, uśmiechnięta dziewczyna pracująca w ambasadzie, znawczyni win

47. Azerski

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 Zaur, urzędnik, który wszystko musi mieć na piśmie

48. Mongoliski

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 Chinee, nieustraszony potomek wielkich chanów, który nie boi się chłodu

49. Bengalski

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 Muhammad, siwobrody pracownik ambasady Bangladeszu

50. Syngaleski

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 Surani, uwielbiająca plotki przez telefon recepcjonistka

51. Uzbecki

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 Ulugbek, pracownik opustoszałej ambasady

52. Kirgiski

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 Sabira, dziewczyna, która mogła, ale nie poczęstowała mnie baraniną

53. Kazachski

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 Zhulduz, marząca o dalekich podróżach i szukająca przyjaciół dyplomatka

54. Birmański

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 przestraszona i bezimienna dziewczyna w podziemiach ambasady Myanmar

55. Nepalski

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 Suk, były nepalski żołnierz w brytyjskiej armii domagający się wizy

56. Koreański

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 Hyunmyung, uczestniczka imprezy u zaprzyjaźnionych Japończyków

57. Hiszpański

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 Marcelo, radiowiec z Kolumbii, prowadzący audycję o muzyce latynoskiej

58. Pendżabski

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 Raj, prezenter w w wielokulturowej rozgłośni Spectrum

59. Mandaryński

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 Alice, drobnej postury dziennikarka i prezenterka radiowa

60. Katchi

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 Michael, jedyna znana mi na świecie osoba posługująca się tym językiem z Indii

61. Jidysz

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 Boruch, nauczyciel, który uwielbia Skrzypka na dachu

62. Malajski

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 Hamid, urzędnik szykujący inwazję produktów z Malezji na Europę

63. Tajski

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 Sutee, koordynator kolejki w konsulacie

64. Wietnamski

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 Huong, mieszkająca w Hackney urzędniczka ambasady

65. Indonezyjski

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 Yosevlin, attache kulturalna, odkryła że flagi naszych krajów są podobne

66. Fidżi

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 Avisake, dyplomatka narzekająca, że dzieci nie garną się do nauki języka ojczystego

67. Tagalog

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 Tess, sprzedawczyni potraw kuchni filipińskiej

68. Maoryski

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 Tekohe, instruktor wojennych tańców z Nowej Zelandii

69. Portugalski

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 Sirlei, nauczycielka z Brazylii

70. Norweski

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 Liv, starsza pani, która częstuje pierniczkami w kształcie reniferów

71. Fiński

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 Teemu, pastor w kościele, który ma także saunę

72. Islandzki

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 Kristin, chroniąca się przed kryzysem gospodarczym w Londynie

73. Duński

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 Berly, wielbicielka baśni Hansa Christiana Andersena

74. Szwedzki

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 zabiegany parafianin, który nawet nie zdążył się przedstawić

75. Bułgarski

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 Desislava, rzeczniczka ambasady, która cieszy się członkostwa w Unii

76. Estoński

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 Anneli, rzeczniczka prasowa ambasady

77. Łotewski

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 Matiss, pracownik ambasady ubolewający nad eurosierotami

78. Irlandzki

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 Catherine z centrum promującego bogatą kulturę Irlandii

79. Walijski

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 Rhiannon, Walijka, która na moje szczęście pracuje w soboty

80. Angielski

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 Michael Palin, komik i podróżnik, który od czerwca 2009 roku piastuje także funkcję prezydenta Królewskiego Towarzystwa Geograficznego.